When communication gets tough in the classroom or workplace, it’s important to slow down, reduce intensity and create a constructive opening conversation. 

And practicing conflict resolution starts with assessing yourself, said Elise Krumholz, assistant director, Restorative Justice and Student Conflict Resolution. She suggests participating in professional-development opportunities that further your understanding of your strengths and limitations of your approach to conflict.  

“Everyone experiences conflict differently, has different beliefs about conflict and has developed different approaches to conflict based on their history, culture and identities, comfortability in difficult conversations and many other factors,” she said. “I encourage folks to work toward two goals in conflict resolution: Develop a deep awareness of your own conflict approaches and become more flexible with your responses in conflict. Working toward these goals will also help you be more mindful to others’ conflict worldviews and strategies.” 

Embody a constructive conflict mindset

Krumholz recommends prioritizing relationships, community-building and mutual accountability. Building relationships is a proactive way to prepare for conflict, she said.  

“It is much easier to have an honest and resolution-minded conversation with someone you know,” Krumholz said, adding that the following mindsets can proactively prepare you to face conflict constructively: 

  • Give permission to others to hold you accountable. Become comfortable receiving feedback.  
  • Learn about and reflect on students’ various social identities. Ask yourself how your identities interact with the students’ identities that you work with.  
  • Critically reflect on teaching and leadership practices.  
  • Be aware and transparently acknowledge power dynamics.  
  • Treat behavior as communication rather than taking it personally.    
  • Address the behavior, not the person.  
  • Be willing to have difficult conversations about actions and approach, even if it will impact the relationship.  
  • You are responsible for your emotions, and having them is a part of all conflict.  

Krumholz also recommends approaching conflict in the classroom by practicing LARA (Listen, Affirm, Respond, Ask) skills. 

“When you’re in the moment, LARA skills are a useful set of practices that balances sharing your perspective and being open to the ‘other’ perspective,” Krumholz said. “Any one of these skills can help to deescalate a tense disagreement, creating space for problem-solving.” 

Listen: Be generous while listening.  

  • Remain present and curious about the person behind the words.  
  • Do their words and tone reflect fear, frustration or some other truth?  

Affirm: Recognize what someone said and how they feel.  

  • “It sounds like this project with the partnering department isn’t going how you hoped and that you’re feeling overwhelmed.” 
  • This is critical to showing that you value the other person’s voice and experience. 
  • A helpful tip: You can affirm someone while not necessarily agreeing with them. 

Respond: Use “I” statements to explain your perspective and the impact of behavior.  “I” statements help defuse tension and defensiveness. Example: “I felt disappointed when you shared that you used ChatGPT on the assignment because it caused me to distrust your goals around learning in this course.”  

Ask: Ask open-ended questions to open up conversation, demonstrate a desire to understand and gain clarity. 

  • What led up to what happened? 
  • How do you feel about…? 
  • How would you like to resolve this?  

Use collaborative problem-solving in 1:1 conversations   

In directly discussing expectations, concerns about academic work or misconduct, and harm caused in a challenging classroom discussion, Krumholz recommends applying these helpful strategies: 

  • Leverage the wisdom and experience of the student(s). Inquire about their understanding of the problem and what might be required to move toward resolution.  
  • Inquire whether the student(s) have encountered a conflict or situation like this before. If so, what was helpful in moving toward solutions? What was least helpful? 

As conflict can arise due to unmet needs and life challenges, Krumholz encourages faculty or staff members to file a Care Referral if a student requests support related to food insecurity, housing instability or non-emergent mental-health needs. 

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